As a quick refresher the rough theme of this is going to continue (in a rather belated fashion) from where I left off in my last post https://selfcarediary.blog/2018/05/05/self-care-self-kindness-pt1/
It’s late and I am tired but I’ve been putting off or just plain not thinking enough to do a post and I need to get back on track in more ways that one. I’ve had a blip in my self care plan, you could call it a temporary break. In the spirit of being kind to myself I am not going to feel guilty or beat myself up about that, I am only human and I am trying.
Things to Celebrate
So this week I have managed to exercise 2 days out of my 5 day goal, despite not meeting my goal this is still progress. After all at one point I didn’t exercise at all!
I have also managed to get more than 6.5 hours sleep a night for the last week, it’s not quite my goal of between 7 & 8 hours a night but still its steady away.
I’ve kept in good communication with my partner and we are discussing issues together rather than either of us dealing with things alone. I also managed to see that his mind had gone down a guilty path and pulled him back round from beating himself up before he sank too far. Particularly proud of that one as even though we’ve been together 8 years I still have trouble between certain expressions. For example I often struggle between him being quiet and worried about something or just tired.
I decided to live with my body rather than fight it, I bought jeans that fit rather than the size I wanted to be.
Things to Learn From
So… I’ve not met all my goals… my brain naturally wants to view this as a failure and use this failure as a reason not to bother trying at all because what is the point, I’m just a useless failure anyway. Wrong.
What would I tell someone else who talked to me about this? What do my friends say to me when I voice these kinds of opinions? What about the questions I displayed in pt1?
- What went right when I met my goals?
- Why didn’t it happen the other days?
I think in this case it all comes down to motivation… I lost and then re-found my motivation to look after myself. How I did it? A little step at a time, doing one little thing for myself and another little thing until I felt like I had enough spoons or motivation to do a bigger thing. Or just out of a need to not keep going backwards.
I’ve touched on issues with my weight before, this week as stated I made a move in how I feel about my body. I need to stop thinking of myself as this failure of a gelatinous blob that is about as sexy as said description.
I’ll never have a flat stomach, I’ll probably never be a comfortable size 10 again. It’s not the end of the world. What is important isn’t what number the scales say or how many inches are around my waist… much as I still have strong feelings about said things. Punishing myself for what nature has given me is the opposite of self care and very much unkind. I wouldn’t be as critical or judgemental of anyone else’s shape so why should I do it to myself?
So my resolution is this > I am going to eat well and exercise, get my sleep and look after myself. My weight or waist may well change with this but the real importance is that I am healthy and nourished so I am going to try and remind myself of that whenever I catch a look at myself and dislike what I see.