Spoons

I started off with all this determination and energy… I wasn’t exactly full of energy but something drove me to better myself. I’ve rambled on about anger issues, how important communication is, that I want to eat better and lose weight… get back into writing my novel, up my exercise to com bat the stress…

You know how long it lasted? A week… a lonely sodding week. I’m exhausted and drained having undone any of the goodness my initial renewment of self-care made. I also seem to have become temporarily decision anxious and have much analysis paralysis.

Started a post up the last few days and just nothing has come out. The most frustrating thing is with this recent slump is nothing new is going wrong. My job is very stressful but my general life outside of it is pretty good really, and my stressful job pays for it. Yet here I am trapped in my own head making up enough demons and ailments for a dozen people let alone myself.

Self-care can create a stable basis but it takes spoons to do it… and then there is the next step of challenging our negative thoughts, or accepting things as they are… doing something about the way I feel.

Maybe I have been a bit naive in thinking I could take it in turns or just focus on one side of the coin.

Dunno… out of words for now so I’ll just leave it there…

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