I seem to have picked up a few followers so my blog can’t be all that bad thus far, thank you anyone that reads and especially those that hit like. On that note I love getting likes, meaning people are reading but part of the idea was to get people talking together and feeling less alone. Just reading can do that but don’t be afraid to comment 🙂 and I am @Bexini on twitter if anyone wants to message outside of word press.
So this is mostly covering a couple of days as I didn’t get a reasoned post out yesterday evening but Powerless and Rocking were some very adhoc stream of consciousness posts I did to help clear my head yesterday. They didn’t seem to take off compared to my other posts and that left me feeling a little disheartened but its bound to happen, hell I could have been writing all week without anyone noticing.
So an important part of this blog is reviewing my self care, why I fail or win and how to improve:
Bad Self Care Points
- I’ve not been organising my lunches very well so I’ve ended up rushing them in the morning and being stressed about making it to work on time, not the best start to the day.
- I have also been letting my bedtime slip later even though I know a good solid sleep will set me up in better stead for the next day.
- I’ve also not gotten past chapter 4 of the self care project despite the impact the first 4 had on me.
- Not sure if this is bad self care or just a bad week but it counts as a negative – I have been having a lot of trouble with getting frustrated and angry very quickly and it is taking a lot of effort not to let this hurt those around me.
Good Self Care Points
- kept up making my healthy lunches
- kept up with the blog
- got back on the treadmill today despite the heat and exhaustion
- spent time getting the house tidy and organised
- made it to the kitty cafe and my writing group
What has been stopping me?
- I’ve been exhausted since Monday, it seems to come and go with my mood to a degree. This coupled with very sore legs meant I couldn’t exercise more earlier in the week.
- I’ve had a stress headache on and off for a good portion of the week, even when I don’t have the headache I can feel my scalp. I’ve been doing heat packs and head massages but its just been coming back again.
- I’ve been feeling detached and yet distraught which has left me kind of confused about what to do with myself. I think this is the increase in my medication settling in but I guess we’ll see how it pans out next week as I am starting to feel more alert again.
- I’ve certainly not gotten any better at relaxing or winding down properly in the evening, or maybe I just wind up very very fast.
Lessons Learned from the Week
- Maybe TMI but, my digestive system is certainly appreciating the improved diet with healthier movements and such – some benefits are being masked by whatever is causing the exhaustion I believe.
- I need to focus on my hydration levels more now that my food habits are improving to keep my system balanced.
- I need to get back into a good sleeping pattern, to aid this I am going to seriously restrict my caffeine intake if not remove it all together to no caffeine of any kind after 2pm
- I think I need to pick up meditation again and give myself a chance to detach from the stress and let my body unwind. ( I use this app https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app )
It hasn’t been an easy week, or perhaps even a good week. My build up of self care is still very much in progress but that’s just it… it is progress. It doesn’t matter how small the step is if it takes you in the right direction. No one ever said self-care is easy in fact when you get beyond the basics of physical self care that I am currently focusing on it can get really damn hard. After all, who really likes looking at themselves that closely?
Also its starting to feel sunny and alive out in the big wide world. I spotted blossoms today and there are leaves back on some of the trees :). Just need to remember sun lotion, doh!
I am also trying to move at a steady sustainable pace with my improvements. I have put a lot of balls in the air this week and until I can juggle them with confidence I shouldn’t try and add anymore. We all want to be better now, but overloading ourselves isn’t the way to do it in fact a lot of the time we need to reduce the load and focus on doing less things well.
But that’s just what I think, what about you?